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THE 



COPPERHEAD 
CATECHISM. 



FOR THE INSTRUCTION OF SUCH POLITICIANS 
AS ARE OF TENDER YEARS. 



CAREFULLY COMPILED BY DIVERS LEARNED AND DESIGNING MEN. 
AUTHORIZED AND WITH ADMONITIONS BY 

FEEXANDO THE GOTHAMITE, 

HIGH PRIEST OF THE OEDER OP COPPERHEADS. 



NEW-YORK 



PUBLISHED FOR THE COMPILERS BY 

SINCLAIR TOUSEY, 121 NASSAU STREET. 
1864. 







Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1864, 

By MONTGOMERY WILSON, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the 
Southern District of New York. 



'os~ 



REASONS FOR THE PUBLICATION OF 
THIS WORK 

The times are out of joint, and there is scarcely a Cop- 
perhead able at the present time to obtain a crumb of the 
public pickings. It is sad to contemplate the presence 
of those pernicious influences which overshadow the land, 
and have caused the " light of other days" to fade into 
obscurity. Time was when all the pleasant places were 
filled by those who were " sound upon the goose," but 
it is presumptuous in the men who now guide the move- 
ments of " Uncle Sam's web feet," to arrogate to them- 
selves an ability to deal with the questions of the day 
equal to that possessed by those who have heretofore, 
like their Roman prototypes, saved the Capitol by their 
cackling. 

Our teachers have neglected their duties, and have 
allowed the mental powers of those over whom they 
should have watched with a parental care, to run waste. 
The tide upon which we are drifting must be turned. 
The Ship of State must be anchored in the old harbor, 
wherein she so long and so proudly floated in safety. 

Considering that the time is rapidly approaching when 
this Ship of State will have to be manned anew, it is ne- 



X REASONS FOR PUBLICATION. 

cessary that instruction should be imparted to those upon 
whom will devolve the duty of selecting the new crew, 
so that they may choose men who will each lend a willing 
hand at the wheel, and will ever have an eye directed to the 
"shot in the locker." Question and answer have in all ages 
been adopted as the best medium for imparting informa- 
tion when it is desirable to place the same in a form 
adapted to the comprehension of the meanest capacity. 
That form has therefore been adopted in the present 
case, and it is hoped that by the aid of this Catechisn 
the youthful Copperhead will have deeply implanted in 
his heart the great principles which will lead him to 
honor and obey those who rule over him, provided they 
are of his own party, live quietly and peaceably with all 
who will allow him to have his own way, and conduct 
himself as honestly as is compatible with his advance- 
ment in life. 

In the hope that the seed which is here sown will in 
due time yield forth an abundant harvest, this little work 
is given to the world. 

THE COMPILERS. 



J do hereby establish this Catechism, and declare it 
to be the authorized Manual of Instruction, and require 
that it be reeeived as such by all Members of the Ordei 
of Copperheads. 

FEKNAISTDO, 
High Priest of the Order. 



THE 

COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 



>- 




HAT is the chief aim of a Copperhead in this 
life f 

The chief aim of a Copperhead is to abuse the 
President, vilify the Administration, and glorify 
himself before the people. 

What is the purpose he will serve thereby ? 
He will thereby give assistance to his "friends " 
in the fulfillment of their desires. 

To what end will such assistance lead? 

To the uprooting of Abolitionism, the annihila- 
tion of Eepublicanism, the establishment of Copper- 
headism, the perpetration of a Peace, and the gene- 
ral display of Universal Submission. 

How will abuse of the President and vilification 
of the Administration lead thereto ? 

By making Foreign Nations believe that the 
North is distracted by dissension, while the South 
is pursuing its career in unison. 






12 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

How does a Copperhead accomplish this ? 

By the blatancy of his utterances which he causes 
to be heard over every other sound, as the tones of 
a brazen trumpet are over those of a silver lute. 

Wherein does a Copperhead glorify himself he- 
fore the people? 

By the assumption of an ardent devotion to the 
Goddess of Liberty, and by the liberal display of 
the language of departed statesmen. 

My dear doy, what are the articles of thy Belief f 

IBELIEYE in One Country, One Constitution, 
One Destiny ; 
And in George B. McClellan, formerly General- 
in-Chief of the Armies of the United States ; "Who 
was born of respectable parents ; Suffered under 
Edwin M. Stanton ; Was refused reinforcements, 
and descended into the swamps of the Chickahomi- 
ny ; He was driven therefrom by fire and by sword, 
and upon the seventh day of battle ascended Mal- 
vern Hill, from whence he withdrew to Harrison's 
Landing, where he rested many days ; He returned 
to the Potomac, fought the battle of Antietam, and 
was then removed from his high command, and 
entered into Oblivion ; From this he shall one 
day arise and be elevated to the Presidential chair, 
there to dispense his favors unto all who follow 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 13 

him, and who firmly rest upon the Platform of the 
Party to which he belongs. 

I also believe in the unalienable doctrine of State 
Rights ; In the admission of Slavery into the Terri- 
tories; In the illegality of the Confiscation Act, of the 
Conscription, of the Suspension of Habeas Corpus, of 
Arbitrary Arrests, and of the Proclamation of Eman- 
cipation ; And I finally believe in a Peace which is 
beyond everybody's understanding ; But I do not be- 
lieve that the Kegro was born free or equal to the 
white or any other man ; And I reserve power to 
alter this my Belief during my sovereign will and 
pleasure. 

From whence do you derive tJiis Belief? 

From the Councils of the Elders and Teachers of 
the Order of Copperheads in the immaculate city 
of Gotham. 

Who are these Elders and Teachers f 
Benjamin the son of Hazard, James the Express- 

man, and Fernando the Gothamite, the latter of 

whom is High Priest of the Order. 

How is a Copperhead's belief in One Country, 
One Constitution, One Destiny, compatible loith 
his desire for the success of Secession f 

In the same being all One to him. 



14 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

On what foundation do you rest your belief in 
George B. McClellan ? 

if 

On the knowledge that his ways are ways of 
Peace, and that his paths have been paths of pleas- 
antness to the Secessionists, in allowing them to 
escape from the wrath to come. 

Save any Laws or Hides been laid down for 
your guidance f 
Yes. 

What are they f 

THE Commandments which Fernando the Goth- 
amite promulgated unto the Bruisers, the 
Knockdowns, and the Unterrified, w r ho are accus- 
tomed to assemble in the Great Hall of Mozart, in 
the immaculate city of Gotham. These are : — 

I. Thou shalt have none other President than 
George B. McClellan, nor shalt thou hearken to the 
voice of any other Leader but me. 

II. Thou shalt not make unto thyself any brazen 

image that is like unto Wood, who resembleth the 
vulture that soareth in the air above, and who 
crawleth on the earth below; Thou shalt not admit 
of any other Leader nor be subservient to any 
other's will ; For I Fernando the Gothamite 
am a crafty and barefaced man, and will visit 
with condign contempt all such as oppose my 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 15 

ways, and will show kindness to all such as fawn 
upon and flatter me . 

III. Thou shalt not connect the name of Fernan- 
do the Gotbamite with any profane oath, inasmuch 
as there is no oath sufficiently strong to be associated 
therewith. 

IV. Kemember that thou keep sacred the doc- 
trine of State Eights ; Therein shalt thou find no 
power in the President to interfere with the inter- 
nal regulations of thy State ; In it he shall make no 
arbitrary arrests, nor imprison thyself, nor thy 
son, nor thy man-servant, nor the stranger 
that is within thy gates ; For the Laws of thy State 
are alone sufficient wherewith to punish the ill doer 
and to protect him who does well. 

Y. Honor all the propounders and professors of 
Peace, for their days may not be long in the land. 

YI. Thou shalt not throttle any fat political 
"job." 

YII. Thou shalt not hold illicit intercourse with 
the Confederates, unless thou canst run the block- 
ade with thy goods, and thereby increase thy stores 
of wealth. 

VIII. Thou shalt not steal more than thy share 
of official plunder. 

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness nor sup- 



16 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

press the truth, unless by so doing thou canst in- 
crease the magnitude of thy wrongs. 

X. Thou shalt not covet the opinions of Wendell 
Phillips, nor the writings of Horace Greeley, nor 
the speeches of Henry Ward Beecher, nor the 
color of Fred. Douglas, nor any thing that those 
people may think, say, practice, or propose. 

Have any other precepts been laid down for thy 
observance ? 
Yes, two. 

What are they ? 

THOU shalt hate the Nigger with all thy heart, 
and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, 
and with all thy strength. This is the first and 
great commandment. And the second is like unto 
it ; Thou shalt hate an Abolitionist like the devil. 
On these two commandments hang all the Copper- 
heads. 

What do you chiefly learn from these Com- 
mandments f 

My duty to the Leaders of my Party and my du- 
ty to myself. 

What is the duty you owe to the Leaders of 
your party f 

Implicit belief in every thing they say, strict 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 17 

obedience to every thing they require, and the ab- 
ject performance of every work which they impose 
upon me. 

What is the duty you owe to yourself? 
The feathering of my own nest. 

Where are nests principally feathered ? 
In the Woods. 

What are the characteristics of Woods ? 
Plots with trees-on. 

What are Laws f 

Acts passed by the representatives of the people, 
and passed over by the people themselves. 

What is Congress ? 

A conclave elected by the people to redress their 
Wrongs, but which robs them of their Rights. 

What are States? 

Sovereign Sisters who, like strong-minded women, 
are great sticklers for their Rights. 

Are there any points of difference oetween the 
Sisters ? 

Yes; certain "wayward Sisters" desire to depart in 
peace, whilst the others desire to arrive at peace. 

Of io hat is a Civic Corporation composed? 
Of (k)naves in the common-weal. 



18 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

What is a Ring? 

A hard band in which there is gold all round 
and without end. 

What is an elective Judiciary f 
A right given offenders to choose their own 
Judges, and to be tried by their peers. 

What is a Convention f 

A meeting in which few are appointed and many 
disappointed. 

What is an Election ? 

The act of voting for a member, who you ex- 
pect will re-member you. 

What is Tammany ? 

An old wigwam in which the pipe of Peace has 
been smoked out. 

What is Mozart Hall f 

A Concert Room in which Wood's Minstrels do 
the Nigger business. 

What is a demagogue ? 

A man who rules the roast, and roasts his rulers. 

What is a Peace Democrat? 

A Northern man with Southern principles. 

What is a War Democrat ? 
An old friend with a new face. 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 19 

What is a Confederate f 

A Southern gentleman of chivalric habits and 
aristocratic aspirations. 

Who is Jeff. Davis? 

A man whose word is his bond, and whose bonds 
make him dear to all who put their trust in him. 

Who is Alexander H. Stevens ? 
A Southern architect who designed an edifice, and 
used an old " stumbling-block' J for its corner stone. 

Who was John B. Floyd f 

A much-abused individual, who, although he first 
stole guns from the North, and afterwards stole 
away from Fort Donelson, had sufficient honesty 
left to pay the debt of nature. 

Who is John U. Morgan t 
A guerrilla chieftain who took to his arms in Ken- 
tucky and to his legs in Ohio. 

Who is James M. Mason f 
A celebrated Confederate who went to England 
to grind an axe, and got cut in the operation. 

Who is John Slidell f 

Another celebrated Confederate who tried to 
wake up France, but found her Nap. too deep. 



20 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

Who is Captain Semmes f 

A noted sea-dog whose barque we are unable to 
see, but whose bite we are too often able to feel. 

Who is James Buchanan ? 

An " Old Public Functionary," who, before his 
sands of political life ran out, placed his country in 
a pickle, and was afterwards sent up Salt Eiver by 
the j>eople. 

Who is Governor Seymour 
A " friend" w T ho promised to test the legality of 
the Conscription, but was " brought up" by the 
Habeas Corpus. 

*£ Who is Yallandigham f 

A politician who overstepped the markfand found 
himself beyond the border. 

What is Fort Lafayette f 

A round residence fer those who do not act on 
the square. 

On what ground does Fernando the Gothamite 
claim the right to he your Leader f 

Because " solitary and alone " he put the' oav:l of 
Peace in motion. 

What is a Copperhead's Peace? 

A scarecrow in the plumage of a dove. 

What is the "banner of Peace f 

The flag of many stripes and but few stars. 



COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 21 

What is the language of treason f 

Windy words, which sometimes lead to hard 
blows. 

What is the language of sympathy ? 
Tempering the wind to the shorn lamb. 

What is a Peace proposition f 
A proposal to turn one cheek to the enemy, after 
having been smitten by him on the other. 

What is observed at a Peace ^ Convention f 
Vessels of Wood floating in dirty waters. 

What is the fruit of the Copperheads V 
The Apple of Discord. 

What are the weapons of peace? 
Quaker guns. 

By whom, and where were they first discovered ? 
By General McClellan at Munson's Hill. 

What is the last ditch f 

The Slough of Despond, towards which the Con- 
federates are fast approaching. 

What is a riot ? 
The meetin <» of a few " friends." 

What is conscription ? 

A lottery in which he who draws a prize looks 
blank. 



22 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

What is the Commutation Clause f 
A screen by which you avoid the draft. 

What is Shoddy f 

The sensation fiction of the clay, in which bad hab- 
its are made to appear good ones, but the decep- 
tion is so threadbare that it is easily seen through, 
though it possesses the power of being felt. 

Who is the favorite General in Shoddy dom f 
General Plunder. 

What is a contract ? 

An undertaking to receive certain monies for 
uncertain performances. 

What is a Government Contractor f 
-A Knight of the Golden Fleece. 

What is the Almighty Dollar f 

A golden idol which has been demon-etized. 

What are the principal issues of the war f 
Postage currency and Greenbacks. 

What is Postage Currency ? 
Filthy lucre. 

What is a Greenback f 

A Ledger mystery, with a promising commence- 
ment, and a termination indefinitely postponed. 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 23 

What is Gold? 
About 50 per cent premium. 

What is the " impending crisis ?" 

The " irrepressible conflict" between gold and 
greenbacks. 

What is the suspension of specie payments f 
The result of gold being Chased out of circulation. 

What are Federal Bonds f 
Pawn-tickets given by Uncle Sam. 

What are Confederate Bonds f 
The shackles of slavery. 

What is a Statute of Limitations f 

A Wooden loophole through which offenders may 
escape Justice. 

Whit do you understand to he the meaning of 
the word Swindle? 

That it is an ill-natured definition given to any 
transaction in which the operator displays his good 
sense in looking after number One. 

What is a traitor f 

A breacher of the peace, 

What is the ivrit of Habeas Corpus f 
A suspender by which such breachers are pro- 
tected from falling. 



24 THE COPPEEHEAD CATECHISM. 

Why is Boston the central home of the Aboli- 
tion outcry f 

Because it is the hub-bub of the Universe. 

What is negro equality f 

A black draught which is unpalatable to the Cop- 
perheads, and which runs through the entire body 
of the Abolitionists. 

What are contrabands f 

Colored people which the war sent us, and whom 
we scent a long way off. 

What is a suspension of hostilities? 
Rebels hanging negro soldiers. 

What is a negro soldier f 

A black man who has deserted the hoe and taken 
to the drill. 

What is a standing Army f 

One that is " all quiet on the Potomac." 

What is a standing Navy ? 
A stone fleet. 

What is a paper blockade f 
"The baseless fabric of a vision, which leaves not 
a wreck behind." 

What is intervention f 

A wedge which if used would be influential in 
splitting the Union. 



THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 25 

What is cotton f 

The beetle by which such wedge might be driven 
home. 

v What is neutrality f 

Justice with her bandage removed from one of 
her eyes. 

What is an amnesty f 

A gate through which lost sheep may re-enter 
the fold. 

What do you %mderstand hy the Monroe doc- 
trine f 

Busying yourself with your neighbors' affairs. 

What is Loyalty f 

Fidelity to the supreme command, the adherence ' 
to which is foreign to the Copperheads. 

What is unconditional Loyalty ? 
Loyalty without any condition which is accepta- 
ble to the Copperhead. 

What is your idea of public opinion f 
That it is the opinion most in accordance with my 
own views. 

What is the false-hood of the hour f 
The mask of Peace. 

What is the greatest lie of the day f 
A Philadelphia Despatch. 

What is a Tax gatherer f 
An unwelcome visitor. 



26 THE COPPERHEAD CATECHISM. 

What is the principal effect produced by inter- 
nal taxation f 

Raising the spirits. 

What is the Naturalization Office f 
A hothouse in which Democratic voters are con- 
veniently raised. 

Wliy are Copperheads jubilant over Confederate 
victories ? 

Because they are like angels' visits, few and far 
between. 

How is it that the Confederate yoke is distaste- 
fid to some people ? 

Because it is found in a very bad egg. 

What are you chiefly taught by this Catechism ? 

I am chiefly taught by this Catechism to perpet- 
ually praise George B. McClellan, and to eternally 
hate the nigger ; To faithfully follow in the Copper- 
head faith, and to oppose with pertinacity all those 
who hold contrary political opinions ; To be ever 
alive to my own interests, and to know nothing 
about war for the Union ; To be a firm adherent to 
the doctrine of State Rights, and to every other 
doctrine which may give cause of annoyance to the 
Administration ; These, and sundry other points of 
belief I am taught firmly to hold ; and in testimo- 
ny of my faith and assurance to be heard as a sound 
Copperhead, I say, Amen. 



— fj 



THE ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE 
GOTHAMITE, 

HIGH PRIEST OF THE ORDER OF COPPERHEADS. 



Hearken thou, my Boy, unto these mine admoni- 
tions. 

My voice shall be to thee like unto the cooing of 
the gentle dove ; 

Yea, like unto the dove that bore the olive branch, 
the emblem of Peace, unto the ark, and then turned 
its back upon those who fondled it during the time 
that the tempest devastated the land. 

My Boy, if Abolitionists seek to entice thee, turn 
thou a deaf ear unto them ; plant thy thumb upon 
thy nose, and extend thy fingers as in the act of 
derision. 

If they ask thee to join their ranks and to be- 
smear thy pure hands with, the blood of the inno- 
cent without cause ; 

If they would have thee to swallow them up alive 
as thou swallowest an oyster or a clam : 

If they tell thee that thou shalt be rewarded with 

A houses and with lands ; that thou shalt find for thy- 

■ self watches of gold and spoons of silver ; and that 

thou shalt have a he-negro for thy serving man and 

a she-negro for thy handmaiden; 



28 ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE. 

My Boy, although thine ears were as long as the 
ears of an ass, turn them away, and with a voice as 
loud as the bray thereof, tell them that thou wilt 
not follow in their footsteps : - 

For their feet tread in unconstitutional paths, and 
their hands make haste to shed blood. 

Surely they would entangle thee in the net which 
they would spread before thee. 

They would use thy hands like the paws of the 
cat, wherewith to pluck from the burning fire the 
cliesnuts which they seek to devour. 

The Apostles of Peace have cried aloud, they 
have put forth their propositions in the Halls of 
Congress, they have propounded their pacific plans 
in the highways and in the byways, and in all the 
public places, saying, 

A great and powerful people should be magnani- 
mous, and wherewithal so charitable, that when 
with their mighty power they have crushed the 
head of the serpent, they should clothe themselves 
with the attributes of the Samaritan, and fondle 
the wounded reptile in their bosom ; 

Surely it is not beneath their dignity, nor incon 
sistent with their safety, that they should abstain from 
imposing any degrading or destructive conditions 
upon any vampire that may have sought to suck 
their very life blood : 

Therefore any war which may be waged against 
such creatures must be " bloody, destructive, and 
inhuman." 

Thus have the Apostles of Peace cried aloud, and 



ADMONITIONS OF FERNANDO THE GOTHAMITE. 29 

the people refused to hear them ; they stretched 
forth the right hand of fellowship and no man re- 
garded them, 

Even my counsel, the counsel of Fernando the 
Gothamite, have they set at naught, and have 
turned a deaf ear to my reproofs ; 

They bark at me as the hound barketh at the 
fox ; yea, and they say that I am as sly as a fox, 
and moreover as cunning. 

But, my Boy, heed thou not the animadversions of 
my adversaries, for I will mock them with a deri- 
sive laugh ; and as the fox pursueth the goose to 
destruction, so will I in like manner pursue them. 

Hearken thou unto the instruction of one who 
would be unto thee as a father ; yea, as a father 
who would chastise thee with the rod if thou stray - 
est from the path which he has marked out for 
thee, for he will direct thee in the path which lead- 
eth on to plenty ; 

With the sharpness of a sickle, and with the 
crookedness thereof, shalt thou reap a harvest of 
wealth ; thou shalt garner up a pile of riches that 
shall be more lasting than greenbacks. 

Thou who art of tough metal shall spurn with in- 
dignation that which the deluded ones term " legal 
tender." 

Brass is more durable than paper, therefore shalt 
thou seek brass and find it ; 

It shall enter into thy ] composition ; thy heart 
shall be even as a heart of brass, and thy face shall 
shine refulgent with a brazen smile. 

I speak to thee in the language of Peace, and 



30 ADMONITIONS OP FERNANDO THE GOTH AMITE. 

should any one tell thee that there can be no Peace, 
thou shalt argue him with thy clenched fist, and 
with the force of thy argument thou shalt prove to 
him that he lies. 

I speak to thee in a language so plain that thou 
canst easily understand it ; so be thou equally plain 
in thine arguments, taking care that, like unto the 
arrow of the archer, they go straight to the mark. 

Receive my instructions as thou wouldst those of 
an oracle, and when I open my mouth no impertin- 
ent cur shall rend the air with his discordant bark. 

Mighty is the power which I wield : by me 
are fudges appointed, and at the movement of my 
lips are they displaced ; 

Place-hunters approach me with fear and tremb- 
ling, they scan the lines of my countenance with 
awe, and they become jubilant at the twinkle of 
mine eye ; 

I fill the pleasant places with those that follow 
me, and with an icy smile I turn away those who 
refuse to be subservient to my will. 

Wealth and position are the rewards which I offei 
unto the faithful, and the fruit of my favors shall 
burst forth with wine more sparkling than Catawba, 
more powerful than the lightning of Jersey. 

He who partaketh of my spirit shall be so strong, 
verily so strong that though ho runneth forty rods, 
he shall fall not. 

See therefore that thou obeyest my instructions, 
for they are the instructions of Fernando the Goth- 
amite, High Priest of the Order of Copperheads. 







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